Weddings 

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Jewish Weddings, Conversion, and Intermarriage in Vryburg

The first Jewish wedding in Vryburg took place in 1885, well before the town had a synagogue. The last known Jewish wedding occurred around 1960. Not all couples married locally, nor did all Vryburg Jews marry Jewish partners. Some spouses converted to Judaism; others did not.

Below is a selection of wedding photographs, ketubot, and marriage certificates linked to Vryburgers.

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It appears that many community members chose to marry in Johannesburg, Cape Town, or Kimberley, rather than in Vryburg itself. For example, John Mandie (Jack) Silbert and Esther Friedman were married in Kimberley. My own parents, Isaac and Marie, were married at the Gardens Shul in Cape Town. Joe Joffe and Leila Harris married in Johannesburg in 1951, with Rabbi Kemelman officiating.

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Marriages Before the Shul Was Built

Louis Herrman (p. 234) notes that Rabbi Meyer Mendelssohn of Kimberley, who served Jewish communities across the region between 1880 and 1884, was the first officially recognized Jewish marriage officer in British Bechuanaland.

The following couples are known to have married locally before the synagogue was established:

• Caeser Gers (auctioneer, widower, originally from Sondershausen, Germany, he later settled in Hopetown) and Mathilda Wallach of Kimberley, 12 September 1885. Mathilda was related to the Sonnenberg family; her aunt Amalia married a Rosenblatt.

• Herman Rosenblatt and Jeanette Rosenblatt, 26 October 1886.

• Henry Joseph Sonnenberg and Rosalie Abrahams of Kimberley, 17 September 1894.

• Maurice Sonnenberg and Betty Sonnenberg, 21 October 1895.

• Harry (Aaron) Rauff and Selina Satisofski, December 1902, Taung.

• Abraham Smollan and Elona Hilda Smollan, 15 September 1908.

• Samuel Abelheim and Rose Smollan, 16 September 1913.

• Henrietta Sonnenberg (born in Vryburg, 1891) and Irwin Audrey Hartog, 15 July 1914.

• Ida Sonnenberg (born in Vryburg) and Ralph Robert, 15 November 1914.

• Isaac Senderowitz (Taung) and Bessie Joffee, 12 August 1930.

• Marcus Getz and Matilda Satisky, 17 April 1931 - officiated by Rabbi Slonim.

• Nathan (“Rosie”) Rosenberg and Dorothy (“Dollye”) Sklaar, 28 May 1936.

• Morris Wolpert and Dora Benjamin, 14 January 1938.

• Willie Lieberthal and Sara-Bella Hesselberg, 27 January 1939.

There were undoubtedly others, which will be included as they come to light.

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Weddings after the shul was built:

Weddings After the Shul Was Built

Several weddings were held at the Simon Lieberthal Guild Hall, including:

• Annie Lieberthal and Nathan Mendelow, 2 January 1941.

• Charlie Toube and Helen Lieberthal

• Annie Alufovitz and Louis Goldenbaum, 1943

• Max Muskat and Rhita Rossouw, 1946

• Fay Ipp and Gerry Aberman, 30 May 1949 (they famously eloped to Vryburg)

• Helen Silbert and Basil Goldman, 7 October 1951. Officiated by Rabbi Kemelman. 

• Chubbie Rauff and Esme Visser, 1956

• Harold Scheckter and Zelda Shapro, 1 April 1958

• Jeanette Marlene Cohen and Elhanan Wlodaver, 19 May 1958

• Julien Gordon and Marion Rohloff, 30 June 1963

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Conversion:

Finding Jewish partners in the platteland was not easy, and a number of Vryburg Jews married spouses who later converted to Judaism. Unfortunately, the Beth Din declined to share correspondence with the Vryburg community, much of which dealt with the sensitive issue of conversion.

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Women known to have converted and joined the Vryburg Hebrew Congregation include Esme Visser (Rauff), my mother Marie Cecile Gonin (Sussman), Rhita Rossouw (Muskat), Christa Hendricks (Rohloff), and Valda Vermaak, the wife of Stephen Scheckter.

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Each of these women was an Eshet Chayil and deeply involved in communal life. Cynthia Garb, who lived for a time in Delareyville, recalled attending High Holy Day services in Vryburg and being struck by the leadership role played by women who had converted. Stephen Scheckter remembers that “all the siddurim were painstakingly covered in black plastic by Rhita Muskat.”

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​Assimilation and Intermarriage

Assimilation was not uncommon in rural South Africa, and Vryburg offers several examples. Early cases include William and Henry Klisser, and Moritz Heiman Kallmeyer of Talsen in Courland. Kallmeyer, a farmer, married Carolina Eliza Janse Van Vuuren in Vryburg in 1897, and following her death remarried Susana Jacoba Angenest Raubeubach in 1902. Though he married outside the faith, Moritz (Moshe Ber Haim Halevi) was buried as a Jew in Brakpan. 

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Other cases include Philip Jacobson, a Russian-born trader, who married Lea Magdalena van Rooyen in 1898, and Fritz Sonnenberg (born in Vryburg in 1892), who married Ivy Brodziak in 1927.

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Later intermarriages include Morris Grace, Ben Oshry, and David Salmonson, all farmers who married Afrikaans partners. hough never married, Elias Helfer had a non-Jewish life partner, Susanna Botes and left a substantial portion of his estate to her. A cousin, Bennie Sussman of Hartswater, married Ansie Fourie and later served as an elder in the Dutch Reformed Church. William Lewis from Schweizer-Reneke married an Afrikaans woman in Vryburg 1940. Benjamin Kaiser married Winnifred Jessie Johnson in 1940.

 

Polly Rauff and Dora Rauff both married out in 1938, and three of Isaac Rauff’s four children ultimately married outside the Jewish faith.  Sister Senderovitz is a curious case. Though she married out, to Dr. Brodziak, she paid shul membership fees and affiliated with the community.

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Morris Grace married Elie Elija Johanna Potgieter in 1936. Their marriage certificate lists them as living in Coetzersdam. Joe Joffe's 1983 interview with Eva Horwitz, tells their story and the complexities of identity, conversion and ultimately assimilation.

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Ella was a charming lady whom he subsequently married, and he had no alternative, it became a matter of companionship, he [Morris] had less [Jewish] education than I think I did, so what do you expect, why not, rather live a normal life and marry a Christian woman? What Yiddishe girl would like to go and live with a smous in Coetzersdam ... could you name one? you couldn’t, nor could anybody else

 

… he said your congregation don't want to help me to get Ella magayid, they are making obstacles. Actually it wasn’t the congregation, it was the Chief Rabbi of Cape Town who put very difficult obstacles in the way, she was in Coetzersdam and he wanted her in Cape Town and details which I dent knew what has happened.​

 

Crossing the Racial Divide

A small number of Jews formed long-term relationships across racial lines. These included one of the Abt brothers, Sam Friedman, and Louis Sher. Louis Stetzin fathered a so-called colored child in 1918. In his autobiography (p. 124), Max Sonnenberg recounts meeting a “handsome Jewish trader with a large coloured family” in the Kalahari.

A rabbi consulted during this research noted that, long before 1948, the Beth Din informally refused to convert non-Europeans. As a result, although Sam Friedman remained affiliated with the community and left money to the synagogue, neither his partner Lena Titus nor their children could convert.

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Both Sam Friedman and Louis Sher (whose partner was the daughter of one of the Abt's) reportedly presented themselves publicly as bachelors to protect their families. Notably, descendants of both families have since shown considerable interest in their Jewish roots.

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Joe Joffe highlighted Louis Sher's funeral:

 

We also had a case in Vryburg, some many many years age where we were called to do a burial by a Jew who lived up country and was married to a Colored lady and the police and the magistrate had discovered that in his Will he had requested to be buried in a Jewish cemetery in Vryburg, and it was a lot of humdrum, it was in the period of December holidays where everybody goes away for December holidays and it was the beginning of a heavy rainy season and we performed the burial in the Jewish cemetery. 

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Marcia Leveson (pp. 91-92) puts the life decisions of these Frontier Jews to form long-term relationships with people who were classified as non-white, Leveson notes: "The Jewish Bachelor who had come to make his fortune, or who could not afford to return to 'the old country' to look for a bride, frequently could not find a Jewish woman to marry and there was considerable intermarriage chiefly with Afrikaans women, or cohabitation with black or colored woman."

 

The Complexity of Intermarriage:

Assimilation among the Jewish community was largely influenced by a significant gender imbalance. Gus Saron notes in his work (p. 100) that the 1904 census revealed there were 38,101 Jews, with men constituting 68% of this population. By 1911, the census indicated an improvement, showing that men comprised 59% of the 46,919 Jews recorded. 

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In his study of Potchefstroom, Paul Cheifitz (p. 22) reflects on the issue of intermarriage: "There were individuals in Potchefstroom who had strayed from the Jewish faith. The lack of suitable Jewish partners compelled them to seek spouses from the wider society. Moreover, not all immigrants maintained the same level of religious observance after leaving their homes, leading many to quickly assimilate into the host community." Cheifitz documents four specific cases in his study: Maurits Italianer, Jacob Schwartz, Jacob Solomon, and Abraham Rudolf.

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Again, Joe Joffe's candid 1983 interview with Eve Horwitz sheds important light on these life choices and the issues as well as the complicated engagement between the community and those who married out. 

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.. there were lots of these type of yidden who lived in the bundu, in the faraway places, I knew of many more ... the one [Elias Helfer] lived on the road the Kuruman ... it is difficult to tell who he lived with, whether he cohabited with a Coloured, or a non Jewess … it is difficult to tell, a man must find natural ways out, and if it is not this one, it is the other one ... when you live in the bundu and you are ostracized from families, from congregations, from religion, you came once a year to shul, you don’t knew what to do any more, for 15 years you never go to shul, so it used to be our duty to go and visit these people, we used to get a lot of money from these people but as far as their personal lives were concerned, we tried to do all we could but there are limits to what you can do and to interfere in grown up people’s lives, you can interfere up to so much otherwise if you go too far they tell you to go to blazes, so I imagine there must have been quite a few cases in South Africa because if I can remember two or three cases in Vryburg, so you can imagine there must have been some cases in Kuruman.

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